How to Measure a Year in Dad Wins

A small moment that counts: a dad showing up, staying present and celebrating the joy on his kid’s face.

Success looks different when you are a dad. It’s not a promotion or a six-pack. It’s getting everyone out the door without bloodshed. It’s keeping your cool when your toddler weaponises yoghurt. It’s listening to a teenager’s full story about a video game you’ll never understand, just because they’re actually talking to you.

“There’s no such thing as a perfect parent. So just be a real one.”

Sue Atkins, parenting coach

So yeah - no medals. No round of applause. But a year full of small, invisible wins? That’s worth noticing.

The Invisible Wins

You won’t find these in a highlight reel. No slow claps. No fridge magnets. Just the kind of quiet victories that most dads wouldn’t even call wins - but they absolutely are.

Like the morning when everything went to hell and you didn’t yell. Or the bedtime you stuck out, even though your brain had checked out three hours earlier. Or that car ride where your teenager actually talked, because you didn’t interrupt, fix or force it. You just shut up and listened.

Then there are the micro-wins:

• Defusing a tantrum with a squat and a slow breath.

• Putting your phone down when your kid asked for your attention - and meaning it.

• Unjamming that cursed toy for the fifteenth time.

• Keeping your cool while some genius closed the only open checkout at Woolies.

• Carrying a passed-out toddler to bed like a bomb technician on a tightrope.

A Quick Gut Check

You don’t measure a year in trophies - you measure it in patterns. Ask yourself these:

1. Where did I show more patience than I used to? 

   One extra breath before reacting? That’s growth. You used to blow up. Now you take a beat.

   
   

2. Where was I more present? 

   Maybe you put your phone face-down. Maybe you stayed in the Lego game five minutes longer. Maybe you actually looked up when your kid said, “Dad?”

   
   

3. Where did I repair quicker?

   You apologised without a speech. You reconnected without the cold war. That’s a win.

If you can name even one thing for each of these, the year was full of wins. Even if it did not look pretty.

Why the Little Stuff Matters

These wins shape the whole vibe of your home. Not because you nailed it every time - but because you kept showing up. You kept trying. Your kid won’t remember every moment, but they’ll remember how it felt to be around you. That’s the stuff that sticks.

No One Claps for This Stuff

No one gives you a standing ovation for not losing it. Or for walking away. Or for biting your tongue.

No parade for packing school lunch while half-asleep or for fixing the thing before anyone even noticed it was broken.

But that’s the work. That’s where the magic is. Not in the noise - in the quiet, solid, consistent choices. The ones that build trust. And character. And memories your kid doesn’t even know they’ll thank you for one day.

DADDING IN ACTION

Write down three small wins from this year.

Resources:

1. Being a Great Dad for Dummies by Dr. Justin Coulson

   Actionable insights for fathers on skill-building, presence, and handling imperfections while growing alongside kids.

   Purchase on Bookhero​

2. Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families: "1021 - Parenting Myths Pt 3"

   Challenges ideas like instant baby connections or pre-kid lifestyles, highlighting realistic evolution in parenting.

   Watch on YouTube​​

   
   

3. Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families: "1018 - Parenting Myths Part 1"

   Debunks myths tying parental worth to kids' achievements, stressing self-care, relationships, and real growth over perfection.

   Watch on YouTube​