5 Things Kids Remember About Their Dads (That Dads Never Think About)

What Kids Remember Isn’t Always What You Think

You pulled off the birthday party. Jumping castle, cake that looked vaguely like Bluey, and just enough chaos to need a lie-down after.

And yeah, maybe they’ll remember it.

But what really sticks?

• Seeing you cheering in the crowd at sports day.

• That bear hug after a rough day.

• The bad joke you told at breakfast - every day, without fail.

It’s the little things. The ones you don’t think matter. That’s what they hold on to.

"Kids remember how you made them feel, it is not the big speech or the expensive gift."

- Psychologist and father of six Dr Justin Coulson

Parenting memories are rarely built from grand gestures. They’re formed quietly, during the moments you barely notice.

Being There Matters More Than Saying the Right Thing

There’s no need for perfectly crafted advice. Your presence carries more weight than any polished words.

When your child is upset, they aren’t expecting you to fix everything. What they want is your full attention which is your eyes off your phone, your tone calm, and your willingness to sit with discomfort.

The Way You Handle Stress, Conflict or Mistakes

Life goes sideways. The spaghetti spills, the Wi-Fi crashes, and the school project is due tomorrow.

Your reaction in these moments becomes the template your child absorbs. Whether you lose your cool, stay composed, or manage to laugh it off, then it all leaves a mark.

When You Apologise (Or Don’t)

Everyone makes parenting mistakes. You raise your voice, make the wrong call, or respond with less patience than you'd like.

What your child remembers isn’t the mistake itself, it’s what came next.

A sincere, simple “I’m sorry I got that wrong” teaches more about strength and trust than any lecture on good behaviour. It’s a sign of emotional safety and mutual respect.

The Routine They Secretly Love

Every dad has one, even if you don’t realise it.

Maybe it’s the Sunday pancake ritual. The school-drop playlist you never update. The nickname you’ve used since they were in nappies.

These routines might seem silly or repetitive to you. For your child, they provide predictability, warmth, and a sense of belonging.

The Wrap-Up

You don’t need to be flawless. You don’t need the perfect speech, the Pinterest lunchbox, or to remember what day library books are due (though well done if you do).

What your kid remembers is how you showed up - especially when it was inconvenient, messy, or boring.

Your legacy isn’t built in big moments. It’s in the half-smiles across the dinner table, the way you say “mate” when they’ve had a tough day, and how you keep turning up, even when you’d rather lie down.

DADDING IN ACTION

Tonight, ask your child:

“What’s something I do that you always remember or maybe secretly love?”

Resources:

• Raising Children Network – Parent-child relationships

  raisingchildren.net.au

  Trusted guidance on building strong emotional bonds through everyday parenting.

  
  

• Dr Justin Coulson – Happy Families

  happyfamilies.com.au

  Insights from one of Australia’s leading parenting experts on what kids remember most.