The 3-Question Dad Reset: Reconnect Before the Year Gets Away

You blinked, and somehow, it’s August.

The school shoes are scuffed, the lunchboxes have seen better days, and you’re powering through life like a bloke permanently stuck on “next.” It’s not your fault, but the first half of the year is chaotic. Before the year disappears into spring sports and end-of-year madness, take a beat. Check how you’re showing up.

“One basic needs all children have... is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short.” 

Dr. Alfie Kohn, author of Unconditional Parenting

Why It’s Worth the Reset

Some dads cruise the time without looking up, only to realise their kid’s grown a few inches and they’ve missed the small stuff. Life gets loud, there are bills, work, sport drop-offs, and suddenly connection gets pushed to “later.”

The “later” doesn’t happen by accident. It happens because you make it happen. Research shows kids thrive when they feel loved and accepted, not for their achievements, but for who they are. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being there, consistently, even when they’re throwing an attitude or ignoring you.

This reset isn’t about guilt-tripping yourself into “doing better.” It’s a quick pulse-check to remind you what actually matters.

The 3 Questions That Sort Your Head Out

These are not trick questions. They’re quick prompts to snap you out of autopilot and back into being the dad your kid actually remembers.

1. What’s Been Working? Think about what’s going right. Maybe you’ve nailed a Sunday morning pancake ritual or you’re smashing those side chats on the school run. These small wins are proof you’re already showing up, even when it doesn’t feel like it.

   
   

2. What’s Been Slipping? No blame here. Maybe your brain’s stuck in work emails instead of backyard kick sessions, or bedtime chats have turned into “lights out” on repeat. Spot the gaps, and you can fix them.

   
   

3. What’s One Thing I Can Do This Week? Keep it stupidly simple: ten minutes of LEGO, a quick check-in text, a backyard kick. It’s the micro-moments that stack up.

Dad Check-In Prompts

Not sure where to start? Try these low-key connection moments:

• Ask, don’t instruct: “What’s been the best part of your week so far?”

• Share something real: Talk about something funny or awkward that happened to you today.

• Join their world: Sit next to them during their favourite game or show, even five minutes counts.

  
  

Why It’s More Than Just a Feel-Good Exercise

Connection isn’t about controlling behaviour with rewards or punishments. It’s about building trust. When kids feel loved without conditions, they’re more likely to open up, even when they’ve stuffed up.

This 3-question reset isn’t about overhauling your life. It’s about noticing the moments that matter and creating a few more of them.

DADDING IN ACTION

Pick one thing to do this week that will make your kid feel seen. Could be five minutes of actual eye contact.

Resources:

1. Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn 

   A foundational book on the importance of loving children without conditions. Unconditional Parenting – (Book) | Alfie Kohn 

   
   

2. Good Inside with Dr. Becky

   Ideal for dads aiming to reset and show up meaningfully for their kids. Parenting Podcast | Good Inside

   
   

3. Building Powerful Father-Child Relationships (Dr. Meg Meeker’s Parenting Great Kids Podcast, ep. 216).

   Deep insight into how dads can foster genuine connection and open communication with their children. Building Powerful Father-Child Relationships - Meeker Parenting