Holiday Parenting Styles, Ranked

School holidays done right. A dad fully present, laughing and leaning into the chaos of backyard play.

School’s out and every dad starts the holidays with a quiet confidence. This time will be different. Relaxed. Fun. Present. We’ve got this.

Fast forward a week or two and… yeah. Not so much.

The truth is, no dad sticks to one holiday parenting style. We rotate. Sometimes daily. Sometimes hourly. Depending on sleep, weather, how loud the house is, and how long it’s been since school last took them off our hands.

“Kids don’t need perfect parents. They need parents who are present and real.”

Dr Ross Greene, clinical psychologist and author

The Early-Holiday Optimist

This is you in the first few days. Well-rested. Hopeful. Slightly smug.

You’ve got ideas. You’re up early. You’re suggesting outings. You’re saying things like, “Let’s make the most of it.” You genuinely believe this energy will last.

The Activities Guy

Somewhere between enthusiasm and panic, you decide doing stuff is the answer.

Trips. Plans. Movement. Anything to stop the house descending into chaos. You tell yourself the kids need stimulation. Really, you need a sense of purpose.

The kids enjoy parts of it. You enjoy the idea of it more than the execution.

The Flexible Realist

This is peak form. Rare. Fleeting.

You’ve accepted that days won’t be perfect. You pick one thing to anchor the day and let the rest slide. Screens happen. Sleep-ins happen. You don’t lose your mind over it.

You feel calm. The kids feel it too. Enjoy this phase. It doesn’t last forever.

The Bit Every Dad Needs to Hear

Here’s the thing. Your kids don’t rank you.

They don’t care which version showed up most often. They remember moments. Laughter. A walk. A chat. A dad who was there, even if he was running on fumes.

Research backs this up. Kids value emotional availability far more than effort or output. They don’t need you at your best. They need you for real.

Why We All Slide Around

Holidays blur time. Routines drop away. Energy dips. Expectations clash with reality.

Moving between styles doesn’t mean you’re inconsistent. It means you’re human.

If you recognise yourself in three or four of these this week, congratulations. You’re doing exactly what most dads are doing.

No Gold Medal Required

There’s no winning the holidays. No perfect mode to lock in.

Some days you’ll be switched on. Some days you’ll be just hanging in. Most days will land somewhere in between.

And that’s fine.

DADDING IN ACTION

Notice which “holiday dad” you were today, have a quiet laugh about it, and show up again tomorrow.

Resources:

1. Raising Human Beings by Dr. Ross W. Greene

   Guide to collaborative parenting that values real presence over perfection, helping dads adapt styles flexibly to build empathy and problem-solving with kids.

   Details on DrRossGreene.com​

2. Lost at School by Dr. Ross W. Greene

   Explores why kids struggle with expectations and how parents' emotional availability trumps rigid approaches, perfect for holiday mode shifts.

   Purchase on The Nile Australia​

3. The CPS Podcast by Dr. Ross Greene

   Episodes offer practical advice on proactive, non-punitive parenting, emphasizing presence and collaboration during unstructured times like holidays.

   Listen on Apple Podcasts​​