The Stuff School Can’t Teach (But Dads Can)

A walk with the dog, a chat about life - not quite school, but definitely learning.

There’s no school subject called How to Not Completely Lose Your Shit. No elective in Staying Married During Term 4. And strangely, Year 9s still aren’t learning How to Apologise Without Blaming Someone Else First.

That’s because the really useful stuff - the human stuff - doesn’t come from classrooms.

It comes from you.

Not through speeches. Through the way you move through a Tuesday.

As clinical psychologist Dr Rebecca Ray puts it:

“Children learn who they are by watching how we are.”

Which is slightly terrifying, but also wildly hopeful. Because it means you don’t need to be a genius, just a half-decent work in progress.

The syllabus they don’t get at school

Emotional Regulation 101

Snapped less this week than last week? That’s a distinction. They’re learning from your self-restraint - not your spreadsheet.

Advanced Conflict Resolution

You argued with their mum and no one slammed a door? That’s post-grad level stuff. You can’t teach them how to do relationships by faking a perfect one.

Introduction to Failure Recovery

They see when you mess up. They see more when you don’t dodge it. No blaming traffic, Telstra, or the nearest child. Just owning it. That teaches them how to come back from a mistake without making it someone else’s fault.

Presence Practicals

You ignored a buzz, turned over your phone, and listened to a story with no point and four plot holes? That’s your diploma in Showing Up.

Your Kids Don’t Need a Guru - Just You, Paying Attention

You don’t need to make a speech about values. They’re already watching. The way you talk to the barista. The way you handle stress. The way you treat their mum, your mates, yourself. That’s the syllabus.

You’re not meant to be flawless - just visible, honest, and having a crack. Because half of what they’ll carry into adulthood isn’t taught. It’s absorbed.

Dadding in Action

Think of one behaviour you don’t want your kid picking up from you - and spend the week practising the opposite.