“I’m Fine.” And Other Lies Dads Tell Themselves

Aussie Dadding
Jun 13
2 min read

Dad lying alone in thought, showing signs of emotional strain — Even when you say you're fine, the weight can show.

You ever reply “I’m fine” so fast it sounds rehearsed?

It’s the dad version of a reflex. Kid screaming, work stress, sleep shot to bits - but sure, yeah, you’re fine.

Only you’re not.

The Everyday Lies We Tell Ourselves

Let’s not make this heavy. Let’s just be honest.

“I’m just tired.”

Fair. But when was the last time you felt energised, not just caffeinated?

“Other blokes have it worse.”

Yeah, and other blokes ignore their own warning signs until it bites them.

“It’s just a rough patch.”

Rough patches don’t last three months and steal your patience.

“I can’t afford to fall apart.”

You don’t have to. But you also don’t have to keep white-knuckling it through the week.

These aren’t failings. They’re defence mechanisms. We use them because admitting we’re not okay feels… risky. Like once you say it out loud, the whole house of cards might fall.

**Why We Buy Our Own Bullsh*t**

We grow up being told to toughen up. Push through. Don’t whinge.

And then one day you realise you don’t even have the language to say what’s really going on.

So we fall back on “fine.”

Because it keeps things moving. Because it doesn’t freak anyone out. Because it’s easier than figuring out what’s underneath it.

“I think on an individual level we all just need a bit more self‑compassion; we need to be kinder to ourselves.”

— Dr Zac Seidler, Clinical Psychologist, Movember

How to Tell If You’re Not Fine (Even If You Keep Saying You Are)

You snap over little things
You avoid eye contact when someone asks how you are
You dread alone time because that’s when the thinking starts
You zone out in front of your phone more than you’d like to admit
You can’t remember the last time you laughed properly

This isn’t about diagnosis. It’s about checking in before things go sideways.

So What Do You Actually Do?

You don’t need to bare your soul or write a feelings journal in cursive.

You just need to get a bit more honest with yourself.

Say something different next time someone asks. Try:
“Bit off this week, not sure why.”
Or even: “Honestly? Flat. But I’m working on it.”
Ask a mate how he’s really going, and don’t let him fob you off with “all good.” Start normalising that kind of talk.
Say it around your kids sometimes.
“I’m feeling a bit off today, but I’ll bounce back.”That’s not weakness - that’s emotional literacy. It’s giving them a language most of us never got.