"I Hate School": Helping Your Little Mate Open Up

Having a child come home and slam the door while loudly exclaiming, “I hate school”, can be a real downer. At these times, it's good to remember that school could be a big, scary place for you when you were a little kid.

Mara Linaberger, an educator of 20 years, tells us, "If your child hates school, the kid is telling us something doesn't feel right."

As a dad, it’s vital to understand what’s happening in their world to cause such an attitude shift. Are they getting bullied, finding their lessons too hard, or is there a drama playing out with their friends?

Whatever their circumstance, any one of these challenges can affect your child’s emotional and mental well-being.

Why Do Kids Say They Hate School

No child will be keen on school every day of their education. There will always be challenges that can leave them feeling overwhelmed, and it won’t always be easy for them to identify the problem. Here’s how to help them find out.

Create a Safe Space to Talk

A safe space will make them feel secure about spilling the beans. Find some time when you can give them your undivided attention.

Turn the TV and other gadgets off, watch their body language and tell them you are there for them. Remember, it's a different world from the one you grew up in, so show empathy even if you don't fully understand what's getting to them.

Get Them to Share More

Encourage sharing by asking open-ended questions like, "What was the toughest part of your day?" or "What would make school feel better for you?" Let them know their feelings are valid, but you may not have all the answers right away.

Figure Out What's Really Going On

Watch their body language, as it can provide clues about what's happening beneath the surface. You may need to chat with their teachers to get more of the big picture. If communication seems tough for your kid, don't be afraid to seek professional help, such as the school guidance counsellor, for extra support.

Monitor Screen Time

It's also a good idea to monitor their screen time, as social media can be a breeding ground for extra school-related stress and also get in the way of developing coping skills.

Tackle the Issues Together

Navigating school struggles will require patience and understanding. Once you've discovered the source of their hatred for school, work together to tackle the issues head-on.

You or their guidance counsellor can teach them coping skills to help them bounce back when things get tough. Positive reinforcement can go a long way, so celebrate their wins, no matter how small.

As they get to grips with their challenges, they will soon stop dreading their days at school and may even start enjoying their studies again.

DADDING IN ACTION

Next time your kid says they hate school, take a deep breath and show your support by inviting them to talk about it over their favourite after-school snack.

RESOURCES:

Understood.org offers resources and articles for parents to help children struggling with school. It covers topics like learning and attention issues, emotional well-being, and strategies for effective communication.

The School Success Formula with Lucy Parsons provides tips and strategies for parents to help their children succeed in school.

The Resistant Learner: Helping Your Child Knock Down the Barriers to School Success by Lawrence Green explores counterproductive behaviours and attitudes that cause children to resist education.