Remember That Time, Dad? - Why Stories Matter More Than Stuff

If you ask most adults what they remember from childhood, they’ll rarely talk about the toys they had. Instead, they’ll tell you about that time Dad got lost on the way to the beach, or when the backyard sprinkler turned into the best summer “water park.” Memories stick because they carry emotion, connection, and story. Stuff gets forgotten; stories become family legends.

"Stories are how we make meaning of our lives and pass it on to the next generation.” 

Psychologist Dan McAdams

As dads, we’re not just providers, we’re narrators, jokers, and accidental heroes. The question is: what kind of stories will your kids remember?

The Magic of “Remember That Time…”

Every family has a “remember that time” moment. It’s the shorthand for bonding,  the laughs, the shared cringe, the retold adventures. That phrase signals belonging. When your kids recall those times with you, they’re not just remembering; they’re building their sense of family identity.

It’s Not About the Stuff

Research shows experiences give more lasting happiness than material gifts. Think back: do you remember the shoes your parents bought when you were eight? Probably not. You remember the day Dad let you stay up late to watch a thunderstorm from the verandah. Those moments outlast price tags because they tie us to each other, not to objects.

Finding Story Moments in the Everyday

You don’t need to wait for a big holiday to make memories. Story-worthy moments often sneak into the everyday: burning the sausages at the BBQ, the camping tent collapsing at 2am, or your dodgy victory dance at family karaoke. The trick is to notice them and lean in instead of brushing them off as “just a hassle.” One day, that hassle will be the funniest part of the story.

Keeping the Stories Alive

Stories fade unless you retell them. Bedtime chats, dinner-table banter, or even a family highlight reel at the end of each term keeps them alive. Snap a photo, jot a note, but most importantly, put the phone down when it’s happening. Do you want your kids’ main memory to be of you scrolling through your screen? Or of you laughing with them, in the middle of the chaos?

The Story-First Mindset

When faced with the choice between convenience and connection, ask yourself: “What story will this make?” Will it be the story of Dad who always rushed, or Dad who sometimes said yes to mud pies, silly songs, or a late-night chat? That mindset turns ordinary days into story-worthy ones, without needing to spend a cent.

DADDING IN ACTION

Pick one ordinary thing this week, and turn it into a ‘remember that time…’ moment.

Resources:

1. Identity and Story: Creating Self in Narrative edited by Dan P. McAdams, Ruthellen Josselson, Amia Lieblich

   Explores how the stories we tell shape our identities, focusing on narrative psychology and self-defining stories.

   https://www.apa.org/pubs/books/4316071

   
   

2. Family Narratives and the Development of an Autobiographical Self by Robyn Fivush

   This book demonstrates how family storytelling shapes personal identity and emotional connection across development.

   https://www.routledge.com/Family-Narratives-and-the-Development-of-an-Autobiographical-Self-Social-and-Cultural-Perspectives-on-Autobiographical-Memory/Fivush/p/book/9781138037243

   
   

3. Power, Intimacy, and the Life Story: Personological Inquiries into Identity by Dan P. McAdams

   Foundational work on narrative identity exploring personal stories from the core of who we are.

   https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/22814097-power-intimacy-and-the-life-story