Questions to Ask Your Kids That Actually Get Them Talking

Aussie Dadding
7 days ago
2 min read

Dad chatting with child in the car—asking playful questions and having a real conversation.

The Questions That Actually Get Your Kids Talking

You ask how their day was. They say “Good.”

You ask what they did. They say “Stuff.”

You ask if anything happened. They say “Nah.”

And somehow, you’re meant to build a meaningful relationship from that.

If you’ve ever felt like trying to talk to your kid is like interviewing a celebrity on a media ban, you’re not alone. But the good news is, with the right kind of question, you can break through the one-word wall and get real conversation flowing—even if it’s just for five minutes in the car.

Why Most Questions Don’t Work

We default to the classics:

“How was your day?”
“What did you do at school?”
“Anything happen today?”

They’re well-meaning, but they’re also too big, too vague, or just plain boring. Kids (especially older ones) don’t want to feel like they’re in a performance review. What works better? Questions that are playful, specific, unexpected—or just a bit weird.

Try These Instead (By Age Group)

Younger Kids (3–7)

You’re not looking for deep insights here—you’re aiming for connection and creativity.

“If your teddy could talk, what would he say about today?”
“What was the best thing you saw with your eyes today?”
“If you could switch places with your teacher tomorrow, what would you make the class do?”

Tweens (8–12)

This age group wants to be taken seriously—but also still loves a good silly question.

“What made you laugh today?”
“If school had a secret level, what would it be?”
“Was there anything today that was really unfair?”
“If you could press pause on anything today, when would it be?”

Teens (13+)

You’re entering eye-roll territory, but this is also the age where real chats can happen—if you don’t push too hard.

“If you could make one rule for our house, what would it be?”
“Did you see or hear anything today that made you think, ‘Wait, what?’”
“Who do you reckon had the toughest day today—student or teacher?”
“Is there anything you wish adults actually understood?”

Timing is Everything

Kids rarely want to chat when you say, “Let’s have a talk.” But catch them in the car, at bedtime, or when you’re both doing something else (like walking the dog or making toast), and suddenly the gates creak open. The less pressure, the better.

“Asking the right question at the right time builds emotional safety—your child feels seen without being put on the spot.”

— Dr. Amanda Foley, Child & Adolescent Psychologist

Getting your kid to talk isn’t about cracking some secret code. It’s about staying curious, asking better questions, and not giving up after one-word answers. Keep it casual, keep it creative, and remember—sometimes the weirdest questions get the best answers.