The ‘Holiday Shift’: How to Parent (and Partner) When the Kids Are Home All Day

School holidays. Also known as: snack o’clock, mess o’clock, and “what can we do now?”... and it’s only 9:01 AM. Routine’s gone, the fridge is empty, and patience is on a timer. The chaos is real—but so is the opportunity to survive it together.

Why It Feels So Intense

When kids are home all day, everything’s louder, stickier, and harder to plan. The balance between parenting and partnering gets tested. One of you ends up playing social secretary, the other ends up hiding in the laundry, and somehow the bin still isn’t out.

Keep Calm and Share the Load

• Start the Day with a Plan: It doesn’t have to be military-level structure, but having a loose game plan helps everyone feel less frazzled.

  
  

• Divide and Conquer: One takes the playdate, the other handles dinner. Or trade off “zones” in the house. It’s teamwork, not martyrdom.

  
  

• Talk Before You Snap: If you feel yourself getting short, say something early. “I’m starting to lose it a bit—can we tag out?” goes a lot further than silently stewing while cleaning up kinetic sand.

  
  

Hold the Fort, Together

This isn’t just about the kids. When the house feels like a war zone, your relationship can take friendly fire. Find small ways to stay connected:

• Create Micro-Moments: Sit down for five minutes and have a coffee together. No phones, no multitasking—just a reset.

  
  

• Back Each Other Up: If one of you makes a call (like no more snacks before lunch), the other should echo it. You’re a team, not rival camp counsellors.

  
  

• Lower the Bar: Not every meal needs to be healthy. Not every moment has to be meaningful. Survival is a win. Take the pressure off each other.

  
  

Screens Happen—but Make Them Shared

Let’s be real: the screens will come out. The trick is not letting them divide you. Watch something together. Play a game together. Keep connection part of the picture, even when the remote’s involved.

And maybe… put your own phone down more often too. If your kids see you reaching for each other instead of your devices, they’ll learn what being present really looks like.

“School holidays don’t have to be a stress test. They’re a chance to show your kids—and your partner—what being a strong team really looks like.”

— Sarah Owen, Family Counsellor

The holiday shift hits every family differently, but one thing stays the same: you're in this together. Share the load, back each other up, and remember that laughter, leftovers, and lowered expectations might just be your holy trinity until school starts again.

DADDING IN ACTION

Sit down with your partner tonight and divvy up tomorrow—who’s got the snacks, who’s got the sanity breaks.

Resources

Book: The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson

Podcast: Parental As Anything with Maggie Dent – real talk for Aussie parents