3 Things to Say When You’re Annoyed — That Won’t Start a Fight

You’re not made of stone. The toothpaste lid’s gone missing—presumed dead. Someone’s opened a new box of cereal while the old one’s still right there. You’ve repeated the same sentence six times and still, no one’s listening. You're annoyed—and it’s valid. The trick is saying something before it turns into a blow-up.

The Problem with Bottling It

Swallowing frustration doesn’t make you a hero. It makes you moody. And passive-aggressive. And more likely to snap over something tiny—like how the dishwasher’s been stacked by a lunatic. The good news? You can say something, without starting World War III in the kitchen.

Try These 3 Lines Instead

1. “I’m feeling a bit on edge—just letting you know.”

It’s not blamey. It’s honest. It gives your partner context before your tone does the talking for you.

2. “Can we hit pause and come back to this?”

This one’s magic when you feel yourself going from mildly irritated to burning resentment with a side of sarcasm. It buys space without shutting things down completely.

3. “I know this isn’t a big deal, but it’s bothering me.”

It’s humble, real, and lowers the chance of defensiveness. You’re not minimising your feelings—you’re just showing that you’re not here to pick a fight.

It’s Not About Being Zen 24/7

You’re allowed to be annoyed. You’re human. But if your kids see you express frustration without rage-quitting the day, they learn how to deal with their own big feelings too. That’s a win for everyone.

“Healthy communication isn’t about being conflict-free—it’s about handling frustration in a way that invites connection, not combat.”

— Dr. Lydia Marks, Couples & Family Psychologist

Annoyance is normal. What you do with it? That’s what matters. These three simple lines can help you keep the peace, stay honest, and show your kids (and your partner) that respect doesn’t disappear when things get tense.

DADDING IN ACTION

Next time something small annoys you, practise one of these lines out loud. Keep it calm, keep it real.

Resources

Book: Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg – Learn how to express yourself without conflict

Podcast: The Art of Manliness – Try episodes on communication and emotional regulation

YouTube: The School of Life – How to Communicate Better in Relationships